For days, weeks, even months I've been anticipating with cautious optimism, the impending date of my 50th birthday. I anticipated that I might feel any number of emotions as this day capped a year of life-changing events including my new status as an empty-nester, my mom's passing, and new responsibilities at work.
As I sit here pondering the significance of this new milestone, I think of the opportunities ahead of me, and I feel very grateful for life at 50. I consider the opportunities that were not available for my own mother at the same age; and I feel more optimistic than I have in a long time.
I look with admiration at women who also hit this milestone this year: Michelle Pfeiffer, Ellen DeGenerous, Oprah, Madonna & Sharon Stone. And then there's Diane Keaton, who at 57, produced her seventh movie and played the heartthrob of 39-year-old Hollywood heartthrob Keanu Reeves in Something's Gotta Give. Christie Brinkley at 60, who when advertising the Total Gym looks better than most women I know half her age. And Susan Sarandon, who at 61, is still the American prototype for the sexy older woman, a title she earned in her 40s.
Several years ago, Frank Kaiser wrote a wonderful essay in praise of older women. To all women 40 and beyond...and to the men who appreciate them, this is worth the read:
In Praise Of Older Women
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
An over 50 woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If an over 50 woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it`s usually something more interesting.
An over 50 woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants, and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a darn what you might think about her or what she`s doing.
An over 50 woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and commitment." The last thing she wants in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover.
Over 50 women are dignified. They seldom have screaming matches with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won`t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Over 50 women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it`s like to be unappreciated.
An over 50 woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. A woman over 50 woman couldn't care less if you`re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won`t betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an over 50 woman...They always know.
An over 50 woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.
Over 50 women are forthright and honest. They`ll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don`t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Ladies, we praise over 50 women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. ~Frank Kaiser
I am thankful and optimistic about the days and years to come. Turning 50 scared me at first, but it sure is better than the alternative!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Precious Time
If you're like me, you often complain about not having enough hours in a day. So in this hectic, time-starved world world we live in, today should have felt like a real gift; because today we turned our clocks back and miraculously picked up one extra hour.
How did you spend your time?
Perhaps you slept in a little longer, or did a few more things around the house. Or, maybe you forgot about the time change until you saw your cell or computer clock an hour off.
As for me...I found myself thinking about the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying". It's the story of a man in his early 40's who found out he had just a short time to live. There's one line in that song that really affects me: "I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays and talking 'bout the options and talking 'bout sweet time."
Although I loved, lived with and walked alongside a man who heard those words when he asked "how long do you think I have, doctor?" I can't begin to know or understand what it must feel like to know your time is limited. I only know how I felt, and knew I could never fully empathize, although I wanted to.
God, I tried to.
What I do know is that the problems we had that seemed insurmountable just hours before we heard those words were forgotten. They melted away. The days, weeks and months that followed had me noticing everything about time. And every detail in the world around me...imagining how he was looking at the colors of the trees, the smell of the flowers and the smiles of his children.
The clock was ticking. Time became precious in so many ways...and it became our enemy in so many others. When we had to "fall back" that year, I recall listening to people complain about losing an hour of sleep. I thought of him losing an hour of living. And me losing an hour of him. Even an hour became so precious.
Thinking of it makes me not want to take anything for granted. It makes me want to remember that pain, if only because in doing so I can appreciate the now. What I have. The people in my life that I love. My girls. My friends. My family. My co-workers.
There's a little boy in Barberton fighting for his life right now. Strangers, friends, neighbors and an entire community are trying to offer Josh Metzger and his family emotional, financial and prayerful support. That is, of course, a wonderful thing. We can do what we can do...but what no one can give him is more time.
All we can do even if for a day or so, even for an hour or so, is slow down, look around and appreciate time with the people who are important to us. Live every hour to the fullest. Be a Tigger and not an Eeyore. And try, as the song says "to live like you were dying." Because life really is so short. And time really is so precious.
Even an hour.
Note: Josh Metzger has an inoperable-fast growing brain tumor. You can make a donation to the Josh Metzger fund at any Fifth Third bank in the Akron area to help the family defray medical costs.
How did you spend your time?
Perhaps you slept in a little longer, or did a few more things around the house. Or, maybe you forgot about the time change until you saw your cell or computer clock an hour off.
As for me...I found myself thinking about the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying". It's the story of a man in his early 40's who found out he had just a short time to live. There's one line in that song that really affects me: "I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays and talking 'bout the options and talking 'bout sweet time."
Although I loved, lived with and walked alongside a man who heard those words when he asked "how long do you think I have, doctor?" I can't begin to know or understand what it must feel like to know your time is limited. I only know how I felt, and knew I could never fully empathize, although I wanted to.
God, I tried to.
What I do know is that the problems we had that seemed insurmountable just hours before we heard those words were forgotten. They melted away. The days, weeks and months that followed had me noticing everything about time. And every detail in the world around me...imagining how he was looking at the colors of the trees, the smell of the flowers and the smiles of his children.
The clock was ticking. Time became precious in so many ways...and it became our enemy in so many others. When we had to "fall back" that year, I recall listening to people complain about losing an hour of sleep. I thought of him losing an hour of living. And me losing an hour of him. Even an hour became so precious.
Thinking of it makes me not want to take anything for granted. It makes me want to remember that pain, if only because in doing so I can appreciate the now. What I have. The people in my life that I love. My girls. My friends. My family. My co-workers.
There's a little boy in Barberton fighting for his life right now. Strangers, friends, neighbors and an entire community are trying to offer Josh Metzger and his family emotional, financial and prayerful support. That is, of course, a wonderful thing. We can do what we can do...but what no one can give him is more time.
All we can do even if for a day or so, even for an hour or so, is slow down, look around and appreciate time with the people who are important to us. Live every hour to the fullest. Be a Tigger and not an Eeyore. And try, as the song says "to live like you were dying." Because life really is so short. And time really is so precious.
Even an hour.
Note: Josh Metzger has an inoperable-fast growing brain tumor. You can make a donation to the Josh Metzger fund at any Fifth Third bank in the Akron area to help the family defray medical costs.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Lessons At Every Age
My daughter Laura came home the other night; another all-too-brief visit from college. She was frustrated at a poor grade she received on an English paper, and crumpled under a blanket on the couch admitting "college is a lot harder than I thought it would be".
In my effort to make her feel better, I began my "momisms", which, I just can't help, and I start to share some of my own transition issues from my first year at college. I tell her that it's normal, that lots of kids have a really tough time their first year, and so on. And then my friend Elizabeth walks into the room.
Elizabeth is 10- plus years younger than me, smart, beautiful; isn't married and does not have kids. She is is an amazingly talented woman, especially in the area of writing, and this is Laura's area of interest. She told Laura her struggles in school; how she didn't get to walk the stage, had to take a class over the summer, then get her diploma. How she started and then dropped out of college more than once because it was so difficult. How she came out of it, survived and learned valuable lessons which of course she couldn't see at the time, most of which had nothing to do with the classes she took.
The following day I was on the air with my partner Scott, who also doesn't have kids of his own, but who often talks about his friend's children who mean a lot to him. Scott is a man who shares his common sense tidbits of wisdom in an easy to digest manner every day (probably due to years of training on brevity in communication due to his choice of career). Many of those "Scott-isms" click with me an hour or maybe a day or two later.
As I told him about the conversation that took place the night before he told me he sometimes feels his thoughts and opinions when shared with a young person don't have as much credibility with parents because he doesn't have kids of his own. I admitted that it was clear to me today that parents, including me, can be cocky in their assumption that their advice is the best vehicle for their kids, when in fact, life lessons lessons can be learned from so many people at every age, no matter how old we get.
In fact, we are doing our kids more of a favor when we step back sometimes and let someone else do the talking; allowing them to be exposed to people of all ages, races, religions, socio-economic levels and political beliefs. Exposure, discussion and learning through other's successes and failures is so valuable.
Both of my girls are in college, and I' thinking I need to chill out about actual grades. College is a learning experience for many things...the least of which is the actual classes you take. The real life lessons that will help them become independent, productive, discerning adults comes from living away from home, self-discipline, compromising through roommate issues, frustrations and yes, failing papers.
Disappointment is character-building. We learn more from our failures than our successes. And interestingly, the older I get, the more I realize how much I still have to learn.
In my effort to make her feel better, I began my "momisms", which, I just can't help, and I start to share some of my own transition issues from my first year at college. I tell her that it's normal, that lots of kids have a really tough time their first year, and so on. And then my friend Elizabeth walks into the room.
Elizabeth is 10- plus years younger than me, smart, beautiful; isn't married and does not have kids. She is is an amazingly talented woman, especially in the area of writing, and this is Laura's area of interest. She told Laura her struggles in school; how she didn't get to walk the stage, had to take a class over the summer, then get her diploma. How she started and then dropped out of college more than once because it was so difficult. How she came out of it, survived and learned valuable lessons which of course she couldn't see at the time, most of which had nothing to do with the classes she took.
The following day I was on the air with my partner Scott, who also doesn't have kids of his own, but who often talks about his friend's children who mean a lot to him. Scott is a man who shares his common sense tidbits of wisdom in an easy to digest manner every day (probably due to years of training on brevity in communication due to his choice of career). Many of those "Scott-isms" click with me an hour or maybe a day or two later.
As I told him about the conversation that took place the night before he told me he sometimes feels his thoughts and opinions when shared with a young person don't have as much credibility with parents because he doesn't have kids of his own. I admitted that it was clear to me today that parents, including me, can be cocky in their assumption that their advice is the best vehicle for their kids, when in fact, life lessons lessons can be learned from so many people at every age, no matter how old we get.
In fact, we are doing our kids more of a favor when we step back sometimes and let someone else do the talking; allowing them to be exposed to people of all ages, races, religions, socio-economic levels and political beliefs. Exposure, discussion and learning through other's successes and failures is so valuable.
Both of my girls are in college, and I' thinking I need to chill out about actual grades. College is a learning experience for many things...the least of which is the actual classes you take. The real life lessons that will help them become independent, productive, discerning adults comes from living away from home, self-discipline, compromising through roommate issues, frustrations and yes, failing papers.
Disappointment is character-building. We learn more from our failures than our successes. And interestingly, the older I get, the more I realize how much I still have to learn.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Finally: Real Answers To That Age Old Question...
Why did that chicken really cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem onthis side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Note: I can't take credit for writing it, only sharing it. This is one of those emails that has been going around, and things just keep getting added on. Who knows its original source? And, who cares. It made me laugh out loud and I hope it did the same for you!
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem onthis side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Note: I can't take credit for writing it, only sharing it. This is one of those emails that has been going around, and things just keep getting added on. Who knows its original source? And, who cares. It made me laugh out loud and I hope it did the same for you!
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Legacy Of Theresa Wilson
It's amazing to think that because one man and one woman fell in love, a family legacy was born. I treasure and honor the memory of my Mom and Dad, Ralph and Theresa Wilson, and my amazing family. It is incredible that in her lifetime, and in mine, a disease that many of us had never heard of is now approaching epidemic proportions.
A few short weeks ago, Theresa Wilson passed away from complications of Alzheimer’s disease. It is in her memory and that of her sister, my Aunt Dorothy and in honor of all those families battling this disease I am participating in the 2008 Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk. My siblings and I have committed to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer research, as well as for care and support for people already affected by the disease.
Memory Walk funds help the Alzheimer's Association advance important research into better treatments and a possible cure for Alzheimer’s. And for the millions already affected by the disease, the Association offers care, education, support and resources in communities nationwide.
Currently more than 5 million Americans have Alzheimer's. Unless we find a way to change the course of the disease, 16 million Americans will have Alzheimer’s by
2050.
If you’d like to support the fight against this terrible disease, you can follow the link on the right to donate to our team.
On behalf of the millions of Americans who are living with Alzheimer’s, thank you for supporting my efforts.
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